Southern Instructions

I was in Logan's closet looking for a rock for the turtles. He's a boy, and always bringing in this kind of stuff. Well I did not find any, but I did find this book on a shelf in there. Its called "The Southerner's Instruction Book". Ok I did not know that Southerner's needed instructions. Now maybe if you have been transplanted down here, you might want some instruction, then it needs to be called "Instructions on how to be Southern".

So I was thinking, I would jot some of these things down and if you are not from the South, you could learn a little bit about how to be Southern. Even if you are from the South you might learn some things. (cough cough Krissy)

Do not talk fast (ok, now I am from the south and probably one of the fastest talking southerners you will meet.)

Do not drive slow (especially in the fast lane sheesh!)

Always wonder what your daddy would think (because he knows what he is talkin about)

Always clean your plate (its just polite, and their are starving children out there who would love to have it.)

Don't be afraid to hold a roly-poly (for the love of all that is good, its just a little bug)

Proper women wear red lipstick only at night. (Hahahaha! I don't even wear red lipstick. It doesn't match my skin tone)

Learn how to shell beans. (I now how, I just don't get to do it hardly ever.)

The best place to be during a thunderstorm is the front porch swing. (I love thunderstorms! When we have a tornado warning normally, I go look outside to see if I can see it.)

Pull over whenever you meet a funeral procession. (There is nothing more disrespectful than to continue driving when a funeral procession is going through)

**Side note on this one. I had someone in my family, I don't remember who, to tell me that if you counted all the cars in a funeral procession that someone in your family would die. I have never counted the cars to this day.

Drink your peanuts in an RC cola, or a Coke. (Yep we do that around here. Not me personally, but I know people who do.)

Take time to sit on the porch swing and listen to the crickets sing. (If the cricket gets in the house though, catch it and throw it out. If you kill it, its going to rain. I am tellin you it happens every time.)

Sip on honeysuckle (Oh I love doing that!)

The early bird gets to the yard sale before it's even set up. (Oh this is so true! If you have good early birds they will help you set up.)

So that is our Southern lesson for the day! Tune in next time when you might hear me say.... "Don't stomp that cricket you'll make it come a gullywasher!"

Feel free to add some other Southern instructions in the comments.